Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Urge To Move On . . .

Lately, I have not been feeling myself. I know it is mostly likely due to lack of sleep. But, I have to really examine the areas of my life to be sure. I must be honest with myself . . . I am not loving my job lately and have been unhappy. This is the longest I have stayed at a job since undergrad (5 years). However the school is not what is was when I started and the student population is turning more negative and dangerous. Right now, my underlying desire to leave is beating its way to the top and winning out.

In 2002, right after Loo was born I finished my Master's of Education degree - I am was happy b/c it was a long time coming. Ever since then, I have been in a continual job search to find something at the college level (in the Houston area) that I would be happy with. Over the years, I have applied to a few jobs and was only contacted for one phone interview. Since I am in my "child baring" years, I decided to not stress about it, keep my search low-key, and stick with the job that I know is manageable while pregnant and on maternity leave unless the perfect job came along. I am so over that, right now - I want a new job!!!!

DH keeps telling me to say home, but I don't feel that is the right decision for me at this time. We talked about it before he lefted this last time, again, and came to the decision that I would open myself up to part-time work. This would allow me to get my foot in the door with a school and have more time with my family while they are young. If I can find a suitable part-time position - this will be the perfect solution!

So, the job search continues and my misery grows stronger. Traditionally, I am a hard worker and a people pleaser; lately, I have been doing neither. My tainted attitude is not acceptable to me. There, I said it. Let it be known . . .

"They say a restless body can hide a peaceful soul.
A voyager, ad a settler, they both have a distant goal.
If I explore the heavens, or if I search inside.
Well, it really doesn't matter as long as I can tell myself
I've always tried.

Like a roller in the ocean, life is motion
Move on
Like a wind that's always blowing, life is flowing
Move on
Like the sunrise in the morning, life is dawning
Move on
How I treasure every minute
Being part of it, being in it
With the urge to move on"

Thank you, Abba, well said!

5 comments:

Becky said...

It would be great if you could teach one or two college classes. I'm surprised nobody's calling you back -- how frustrating.

Marel Lecone said...

The lack of sleep thing can really affect us. I can relate to this completely. Good luck on finding a new job--I'm sure something will turn up for you. Regarding the negativity at work, try and stay positive. Perhaps, you will be contagious with your positivity. :)

amy said...

Are there any adjunct positions open in your area of specialty? Keep your chin up - you'll find something!!

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