Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Rollercoaster Ride

The last few days have been crazy. My husband got back from Thailand on Thursday and things have been crazy ever since. Unfortunately, my husband has a personality that can change in a split second. He has a vibrant (a.k.a. smart-ass) personality, a habit of not censoring things that can be harmful, and a very stressful job that really weighs on him. I really, really, really hate to make excuses for him, but always do! So, the last few days have been hard having him home. Especially when everyone always asks, "Aren't you glad he is home?" Would it be wrong of me to answer this time, "Hell, no!" He is a wonderful man and loving husband/father, but we have our issues - like everyone else!

DH has been really happy to be home, but not active with the family b/c he is so damn tired. Sure he has given a bath or two and changed diapers, but he hasn't really gotten involved, yet. Argh! Plus, I have an issue with not staying on top of paperwork. You know what I am talking about - all the bills, things to be filed, junk mail to sort, etc. Usually when DH gets home, we fight about how I have done a crappy job of keeping up with the paperwork. This process usually takes at least one week to get to and gives me time to get a little of it done (it is much easier with him here to help with the kids). Well, this time, he must have been in the mood to be an ass . . . so, he went on the attack after being home for 24 hours.

This mixed with my exhaustion and hormones is not a good combination. Let's just say, I have cried at least once a day since Thursday. Some heavy, bad cries - they suck!

Some of the stressors include:
  • Figuring out how different married life is with two kids (harder to find time for sex)
  • What are timeline is and what we are going to do for our new house
  • How we are going to save the money for the new house and afford my new car
  • That's a big one - my new car - what to get, etc. I want a mini-van b/c it is so much easier with two kids to manage, but I don't just want a striped down one. My husband argues that for the same price, we can have a "pimped out" Yukon, Tahoe, or Expedition of 0% APR. WHATEVER! Why can't I have what I want? I know why, b/c I want the house, too. Damn it!
  • Loo's 3rd birthday party is on Sunday
  • My family is a constant stress
  • Paperwork!!!!!
  • Oh - and sparked today, my student loans! Why do I still owe $16,000? Damn graduate school. DH only owes $4,000 and made sure to point that out to me. Then in one of our arguments told me to find a job that pays "something" . . . hey, a-hole, we can't all be engineers! Besides being a teacher is a commendable job that many couldn't do.

I'm sure there are more things weighing me down, but I am too tired to think about them. The good news is - I will get through this and so will we. The bad news is - it will happen again next month, but the stressors will be slightly different. The second good news is - I love DH and like him most of the time. The second bad news is - I have a lifetime of rollercoaster rides to look forward to! LOL!


Nik said...

We are on the same cycle. I think I pick a fight about money every 3 days. I cant help it. It is so stressful and this is all new to me. We just got married and combined our accounts and I took over all the bills. A few mistakes have been made, but we are getting back on track. This is not the fun part of marriage.

Nik said...

We argue over the new car thing too. I want a used, fully loaded Tahoe and he wants a new, nothing included, any kind of SUV.