Friday, January 13, 2006

Complaints Are Necessary & Therapeutic
- Can I Get An Ahem?!!?

I have been meaning to write about this since the weekend, but have been too busy getting ready for DH to come home tonight (yea!) to spend time on my blog. Though, I have been trying to read a few of my favorites and comment everyday!

This past Saturday night, DH and I were Instant Messaging each other on and off all day long. I had to frequently go, b/c of the kids. At some point in the "conversation" he informed me that I have been complaining too much and that I am not adjusting well to having two children. EXCUSE ME?!!? Seriously, he said these things and I had to take a deep breath before I wrote back, so I didn't say something I would regret later like,

"Hey, a-hole your gone all the time - why don't you try this sh*t for a month while I leave!"
"Bite my a*s and while you at it, pack your sh*t!"
"F*ck you!"

You get the picture (and I don't normal swear too much, but come on)! I was upset and still feel pretty offended by it. Now, I will give DH credit - he only said these things b/c he is honestly concerned about me. He followed up the "negative" comments by asking me if he should leave his job b/c things are too hard on me? How sweet that he would do that, but I don't need him to do that. What I need is for him to listen to me complain and read all my negative emails about how our three-year-old won't go to bed and how sleep deprived I am with supportive and loving comments returned. Is that too difficult?

Yes it is, b/c he is a man! Men must be able to "fix things" and do not find value in just getting something off of their chest for the sake of therapy! I must understand this and adapt a little. Not a lot, b/c if I am unhappy - I will continue to complain! However, maybe I will lace the complaints with some happy thoughts or a "half nekkid" picture or two to make him smile :)

That being said, he will be home in less than three hours and I will be getting some much needed stress-release soon - wink! I will be sure to let him get a taste of what the "new and improved" version of parenting in our family is like and leave him alone frequently with the two kids . . . we'll see how he feels then! LOL!


Nik said...

Your husband sounds a lot like mine. I love to complain...and I do it because I know he cant stand it and will give me what I want. :)

Why dont they understand the need to vent? Its like they want to argue about our feelings, when all we want to do is explain them.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

sometimes men have NO clue what we go thru everyday..

But they can not help it, they dont have as big as brains as we do..

at first I thougth you said you were " massageing eachohter..." and I was blushing..haha

momma of 2 said...

My hubby used to work nights, after I put in an 8 or 10 hour day at the office I would have two kids to pick up from daycare, deal with the days problems, feed them, give them baths, and put them to bed... I totally understand where you are coming from - 1 is easy - 2 is hard.

Becky said...

I just don't understand how many times we have to tell men to listen to the problems instead of immediately trying to fix without understanding them?

Hazel Hazel said...

We would give them credit if they TRIED to understand. I just don't get why they don't try.

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